Expanding The Jones Family

I have been very frustrated lately...beyond frustrated. We want to have another baby so bad, but I’m having a really hard time getting pregnant this time around and I’m unsure as to why. I get asked all the time when I’m going to have another baby and expand my family. Not to mention, everywhere I look and Bam! There’s a pregnant woman. A good chunk of my friends are pregnant too, so it’s really hard for me to be happy for them when I want to be the one having a baby. I would do anything.

Back in June (2012) when I really started to think something might be wrong with me, I called my OB and his awesome nurse Cindy brought me in for some blood tests and an ultrasound to make sure everything looked okay, and it did. Actually, everything came back great. Deep down, I was almost hoping there was something wrong with me so we could get on track to getting it fixed. They then prescribed me with Clomid, which is supposed to help you ovulate. Well, it’s October and I’m still not pregnant and every time I start my period I am just so sad because I know I have to go through another month of this.

I’ve also been dealing with feelings of extreme guilt. I feel so guilty for wanting another child since I already have The Most Amazing Child Ever. I absolutely adore him and am so blessed that I am his Mommy and that he is my Happy, Healthy, Beautiful Baby (toddler) Boy. I feel like maybe I’m being too selfish, and that deep down I must not be grateful enough for the child I have, even though in reality, I know that’s not the case. It’s just emotions--I can’t help but feel them.